Jojo Siwa may call herself the inventor of gay pop, and if you read this blog, you’ll know that she definitely isn’t and that rock and roll has been gay from the start! However, the real gay pop star of the year is Chappell Roan who has had such a meteoric rise to fame after years and years of grinding and playing at small venues. I’m a big classic rock nerd and even I can’t resist her catchy songs like “Hot To Go” or “Red Wine Supernova”. Her viral seemingly overnight rise to fame sounds like every musician’s dream come true: selling out venues, having millions of adoring fans, and growing your bank balance through all of that. Or is it?
There are many perks of fame: an interesting life, the money, financial security (if you play your cards right), incredible once in a lifetime opportunities, jet-setting across the globe, brands giving you free things for being you, feeling loved, getting a table at the trendiest restaurant without a reservation, getting tickets to the most coveted events like the Super Bowl or Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, getting the best chefs and personal trainers money can buy, the list goes on!
There are people who break their backs for it and strive, sacrifice, struggle, and suffer for fame and then when they get it, they realise that it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. At some point, fame becomes like a prison. There are a lot of downsides to fame: you don’t have privacy anymore; jealous and bitter people from your past will come out of the woodwork to talk crap about you; you have distant relatives you’ve never met before sliding into your DMs asking you to pay for this and that, you feel like you’re under a microscope with how much people scrutinise your every action, thought, and word and every aspect of your existence; you might find that a lot of your “friends” are fake and fickle, there’s a lot of toxic people and bad influences out there, you’re under a lot of pressure to maintain a certain look, you’re on this unsustainable artistic hamster wheel that expects you to keep raising the bar, and you might never get to live a normal life again (but chances are you might because most fame is short-lived, let’s be honest).
What did Chappell Roan say that got the internet polarised? Well, you can watch her statement here:
There’s some things I absolutely agree with, but there are some parts where I don’t agree with her and I’ll unpack it in the next paragraphs. I think that there’s definitely a reason why celebrities spend tonnes of money on publicists, because not everyone is good at wording things in a graceful, classy, polite way, especially when they’re making an impromptu video, even if they are a talented songwriter. Great artists aren’t always great businesspeople or great communicators and it takes all kinds of people to make the world. I think some things could have been worded better and there’s a reason some of what she’s saying is coming across the wrong way. I’m going to assume good intent and that she doesn’t want to hurt people’s feelings, but like an artist puts their work out there and it’s there for people to interpret as they wish, when you say anything, people are going to interpret it in their way from their unique perspective because our life experiences shape how we see the world and interact with one another.
In the first video, Chappell starts with an analogy: “If you saw a random woman in the street, would you yell at her from a car window? Would you harass her in public? Would you go up to a random lady and say can I get a photo with you? And she’s like no, what the fuck? And then you get mad at this random lady. Would you be offended if she says no to your time because she has her own time? Would you stalk her family? Would you follow her around? Would you try to dissect her life and bully her online?” And then at the end she says that she’s a “random bitch” and that her fans are random bitches too.
Here’s the rub: Chappell Roan is not a private individual anymore. She is a public figure now with her debut album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess nearly topping the Billboard albums charts and having over 40 million monthly listeners on Spotify. She opened for Olivia Rodrigo and next thing she knows she’s getting all of these opportunities like Colbert, Tiny Desk Concert, Coachella, and the White House inviting her to perform for their Pride celebration. This easily makes her A-List in the pop music world. Granted, her rise to fame was rapid and there’s growing pains, but still. No reasonable person would expect her to have the same expectation and level of privacy as a private individual. When you make music and it becomes a smash hit, people are going to be curious about the person behind the music and there’s going to be interest in their life. Part of a musician’s PR is their life story and Chappell Roan’s life story is really inspiring: She’s a lesbian from Missouri who grew up in a Christian family and has been chasing musical success for a decade and she’s finally made it. She has a cool 80s inspired sound and a vibrant, unique glam-rocker meets drag queen style. It’s a tale of perseverance, dedication, and embracing your uniqueness and identity. There’s definitely a difference between a normal level of curiosity and a stalkerish level of curiosity. Most fans are going to be normal about it, but there’s always going to be bad apples. That said, I don’t think it’s fair to conflate all fans as being creepy stalkers, but I think she’s saying this from a place of understandable frustration and anger. Still, it’s best not to make statements when you’re emotional. Instead, write while you’re emotional and then edit when you have a clearer head.
Of course, celebrities deserve privacy, but at the same time, you have less of a reasonable expectation of privacy when you’re out in public versus being at home or at work. If you’re out in public, you can’t stop people from recognising you, unless you go through a lot of effort to put on a disguise. You can’t control what others do, say, and think. Of course if you’re famous and have a distinct look and you go out, people are going to recognise you. Some people online are on their high horse and will go “I would never ask a celebrity for a picture because I’m so much better than you”, but realistically everyone has a celebrity that would make their heart race if they saw them in public and they’d want to ask for a selfie or an autograph, which really isn’t a whole lot to ask in my opinion.
It’s okay to feel sad or upset because a celebrity you like doesn’t want to take a picture with you or sign an autograph. Emotions and feelings aren’t right, but they also aren’t wrong. It’s all about what you do with them. Express your feelings in a healthy, constructive way, not a maladaptive, destructive way. Denying feelings and emotions isn’t healthy. We can’t be happy all the time. Fans have feelings and music and art can mean a lot to a fan. And we shouldn’t deny Chappell’s feelings either, even if you might find her rant to be a bit tone-deaf or poorly worded. I can imagine for a celebrity, being recognised and approached and swarmed by so many fans is overwhelming and exhausting – all that emotional labour, especially if you’re in sweatpants minding your own business at a cafe and not looking your best and you’re not “on”. Just like you and I have places to go and people to see, so do celebrities. People need a break from work, but at the same time, taking a quick selfie can really make a fan’s day and make them support you even more.
I’m personally not a fan of her calling her fans “random bitches” even if she called herself that. I think that can be really off-putting and make you sound like you’re being ungrateful. I wouldn’t be surprised if some fans end up getting turned off and don’t want to support her anymore. She knows that what she’s saying might lose her some fans. And guess what, that’s their right. Celebrities don’t owe us anything, but that’s a two-way street, we also don’t owe celebrities anything. Vote with your wallet. Celebrities don’t care about you and they’re not your friends. Celebrities are where they are because of their fans and that’s the truth. Chappell Roan did not get these opportunities out of the kindness of someone’s heart. It’s because she has a huge following and that will earn these show business executives and concert promoters money.
In the second video Chappell says “I don’t care if this crazy type of behaviour comes with the job, the career field that I’ve chosen. That does not make it okay. That doesn’t make it normal.” and then goes on to say “I don’t whatever the fuck you think you’re supposed to be entitled to when you see a celebrity. I don’t give a fuck if you think it’s selfish of me to say no for a photo or for your time or for a hug. That’s not normal, that’s weird.”
Here’s the problem that I have with her rant. She’s equating people asking for photos (fairly innocent fan behaviour) with people who have stalked her family (actually criminal) when that’s not the same thing at all. Please leave the family of celebrities alone. Things exist on a spectrum, things aren’t 0 or 100 and no in between. There’s nothing wrong with asking for a photo or a hug politely and if the answer is no, you respect that. There’s no harm in asking. The problem is when people do it without asking. Just don’t take pictures of them without permission – even though it’s perfectly legal to take pictures of people in public, it’s not ethical (what’s legal and what is ethical is not always in alignment). That said, people have the right to feel like she’s being selfish and you can be sad because she doesn’t want to take a selfie with you. But they should remember that if they don’t like Chappell’s attitude, they can always stop supporting her. Just like fans aren’t entitled to selfies and hugs, musicians aren’t entitled to sold out concerts and topping the charts. This rant comes across to me as a “how dare you approach me in public or look in my general direction”, even though I’m sure it wasn’t her intention. Sounds like she’s had a bad day, but maybe it wasn’t the best to record this video when you’re feeling emotional. Save the emotional rant for your therapy session and have a professional public statement, that’s what I think.
I’m a nobody writer and at any events I appear at I always make it a point to speak to and engage with readers and any curious people and be as friendly as possible, even if they don’t buy anything. Whenever I sign books I practically write an essay and express so much gratitude. It costs nothing to be kind, polite, and friendly. I know if I ever achieved any level of fame I’ll take pictures with any fan who asks because it’s the least I can do and I love appreciating and giving back to people who support me. I’ll never take your support for granted. I want to make your day and spread joy and happiness, even if I’m really depressed and anxious deep down inside. The world has enough sadness and cruelty. Be nice.
I think there’s a more polite way to set boundaries and express her frustration with entitled fans and unfortunately, some people are going to take these TikToks the wrong way because this is the internet, after all. In this day and age of extreme wealth inequality it really comes off as tone deaf for a celebrity to whinge and moan about how their hard life is. Get some perspective! As if their life is harder than someone working food service or retail and being on their feet all day only making barely enough to survive. Give me a break! There’s no way a pop star would survive a day working at McDonald’s or Walmart. It’s like when a skinny person is complaining about feeling fat right in front of their fat friend who is struggling to lose weight. Or when your smart friend gets a B on their test and they’re complaining about it right in front of someone who failed the test. It’s inconsiderate. Read the room! Be cognisant of what you’re saying and how it will come across to your audience!
At the end of the day, Chappell is rich and will have more money than most of us will ever see in our lives. Celebrities are not like the rest of us. They live in a whole different world than you and me. Sure perhaps money doesn’t buy happiness, but it certainly buys support and peace of mind. I certainly would rather cry in a Bentley and daintily reach for a hankerchief in a Birkin than cry on a public bus while rifling through a Lidl shopping bag to find a McDonald’s napkin. I’d rather cry in a mansion than in a bedsit. She has the money to get whatever support she needs: therapy, security, deliveries of food and essentials, you name it. Meanwhile a regular person being stalked has nothing. How do I know this? Because I’ve been stalked, harassed, catcalled, you name it. Police didn’t take it seriously when I complained, and I was a minor! In fact, they punished me more than the people stalking and harassing me all because it made me suicidal. The bullies got no punishment. I didn’t even want them to be arrested or go to jail. All I wanted was the police to give them and their parents a stern talking-to.
Here’s what I would have said if I were Chappell Roan. While I am not a publicist, I have a communications BA and journalism MA, I work in a similar field, and I’m a writer so I think I am somewhat decent at wording things:
Hello to my lovely fans! 2024 has really been a whirlwind for me and I went from obscurity to nearly topping the charts. I hope you’re having a great year too. I could have never imagined this level of success happening to me. I’m just a girl from the Midwest with a dream. First, I want to thank all of those who have bought my album and streamed my music from the bottom of my heart. Your support means the world to me and I am looking forward to playing concerts for you and releasing more music in the future.
Fame has many upsides, that’s for sure, and I’m so grateful for all of the opportunities I’ve gotten and these platforms where I can share my work with more of you. But there are some downsides and one of biggest ones is I don’t have as much space or privacy as I did before. I can’t go out in public without being recognised anymore. Being a touring musician is exhausting: long days and a lot of interacting with people. No matter how outgoing you are, you need space and time to recharge. I’ve been approached so many times for photos, autographs, and hugs and while I’m very flattered by your support and love, I want to kindly ask you to respect my boundaries by refraining from asking for selfies, hugs, and autographs.
I’ve also noticed that my family have been getting endless calls and visits from fans, and this is making it really difficult for them to go about their lives. They’re just ordinary people who didn’t ask for fame or attention. On their behalf, I am kindly asking you to respect their privacy and refrain from contacting them.
Don’t get me wrong, I love connecting with my fans and sharing my music with you, but in order to be the best performer and artist I can be, I need to recharge and look after myself and my well-being, both physical and emotional. I hope that we can create a healthy balance so I can keep sharing my work with you, while still maintaining some amount of sanity in my life.
Thank you so much for your understanding, cooperation, and continued support.
With gratitude,
(insert name here)
In conclusion, I understand a celebrity’s desire for boundaries, but they should be careful how they word it. There’s always a polite, professional, yet straight to the point way to express your need for space. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Sometimes we need to think before we turn on the camera and hit record or type something and hit send. Maybe social media isn’t the place for nuanced, grown up discussions.
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